


Every Step Of The Way

by PastelPeaches



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Hurt/Comfort, I can’t write, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lee Felix needs a hug, im sorry lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22413973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPeaches/pseuds/PastelPeaches
Summary: Felix has always been broken. Jisung finally Notices.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Kudos: 97





	Every Step Of The Way

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE DONT READ IF EATING DISORDERS OR SELF HARM TRIGGERS YOU.  
> There aren’t any major descriptions, but it’s there.

Jisung had never really considered himself to be the most observant people in the world, especially among his members, but he knew that he should have been able to notice his best friend hitting rock bottom, at the very least.

He sat on the couch, staring blankly down at the thin, plastic journal in his slender hands. Specifically, he was observing a page titled ‘calorie counting’ in bold, black lettering.

The rapper remembered seeing Lee Felix smile every day back when they were trainees, even after he had been once eliminated. He knew the male worked himself hard, but they all did.

Felix’s optimistic attitude seemed to be permanent after they all finally debuted, and looking back on their time together, it was difficult to pinpoint exactly where everything went wrong- when he began to skip meals, and cut and burn, and binge and purge, and starve. Then, a horrifying thought casually made its way into Jisung’s haunted mind.

Felix had always been like this, he just became talented at hiding it.

-

“Lixie, you there? I need to talk to you.”

Jisung’s bruised knuckles tapped against the door. He felt abnormally anxious, as if a thick cloud of smoke had swallowed him whole, and he needed to see that his best friend was physically well in order to calm him down.

But it wouldn’t matter what he looked like, because he was still suffering, and Jisung needed to help him.

Eventually, Jisung picked up on the sound of shuffling, the creaking of a bed as he sat up, and the door opened, allowing the slightly shorter boy to make his way inside their shared room.

As he looked around the dim bedroom, Jisung was able to notice some things about Felix that had been practically invisible to him prior to finding his journal. His skin was a pale, milky white, leaving his freckles on full display whenever his face wasn’t splattered with heavy foundation. His hair was thinning and some of it had even fallen onto his pillow. He looked at the dresser, and saw how various clothing items had been pulled out of it and fallen onto the floor, as if the dancer had been searching for something.

“Did you lose anything?” Jisung asked knowingly as he plopped down on Felix’s bed, the younger’s stomach dropping at the slight accusation.

“What would I have lost?”

Jisung sighed and pulled the journal from underneath his jacket, where he had been shielding it from Felix’s vision, watching as the latter avoided eye contact.

“Lixie, you need help,” Jisung told him, his voice reaching just barely above a whisper. “I only told Chan-hyung and the manager, and they’re going to find someone-“

“I’m not going,” Felix interrupted him. “I don’t need help. I’m not even skinny yet.”

The word ‘yet’ made Jisung realize just how much the younger did need the help.

“Felix, do you even hear yourself right now? Weight has nothing to do with an eating disorder; it’s only a minor symptom. You...you can still die, and I really don’t want to just sit here and watch that happen to you.” Jisung interlocked their hands and gently squeezed the other’s. “Plus, that’s not your only problem,” he mumbled, referring to the cuts he had noticed previously on Felix’s hips and thighs.

“Alright,” Felix mumbled in a deep voice, clearly struggling to hold back guilty tears. “I’m sorry. I’ll try hard to stop. It’s just difficult for me to feel sometimes, and I lose control. I hate losing control...”

“I know, Lix, I know. I’ll help you, though, okay? I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”


End file.
